headache

i still want to keep my emotions, i think. the idea that i don't is one that i tend to only tend to have when i'm depressed, and i know abstractly that depressed logic is unsound, its axioms are bad.

i just want to be able to plug my head into a USB port when i have a headache and run diagnostics. i want to know what's going on inside my head instead of having to guess through external readouts that can't really be interpreted reliably, through dilation of pupils and sweaty palms and headaches.

the headache is such an awful signal, it's maybe a couple bits worth of information. insufficient hydration? caffeine withdrawl? it's unknowable because there's no diagnostics! no hex dumps of the brain.

it's such a shitty thing and sometimes it seems like half our intelligence is devoted to finding ways to work around how awful the human body is. of course, i'm not under the illusion that a robot would be any better; there would be waterproofing, technical glitches, insulation, rust, obsolescence, and all kinds of other issues.

but we wouldn't have headaches.